Wednesday, September 22

It's time i write this all down...

Adventures are not made for trips alone. Adventures are the small burst of happiness that consume your everyday living. I started this blog as an adventure blog. Taking you with me on my journey to Australia and Indonesia. I stopped pretty much the day i returned to my home in eastern Washington. I now reside in the beautiful greater Seattle area and find myself with more time on my hands. I'm done with school and with a part time job I've got time on my hands. Creativity is screaming at me and this going to be a small outlet for the mean time. So consider this blog a vomit of my scattered ideas. Expect to see anything from fashion tips, event planning ideas, need to hear music, or even the vast realizations that occur in my head. I cannot guarantee you'll like what I write, let alone understand it, but I can tell you out of this I will force myself to sit down and entertain these thoughts/ideas that haunt me throughout the day.

So here's to the new...

I've recently been reading Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge an inspiring book fro women. Captivating is simply the girl version of the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. This book is surely changing my life. It starts by explaining the heart of every women..(guys take note)

  • To Be Romanced
    • Every women longs to be seen, wanted, and pursued. We want to be romanced.
  • Have An Irreplaceable Role in a Great Adventure
    • We want to be in a shared adventure. Created from our core to be in relation. We want to be apart of something bigger.
  •  Beauty To Be Unveiled
    • We all want to be seen as beautiful, but not just in looks, although it can result in this.
      • "We desire to posses a beauty that is worth being seen, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil.

As most of my peers head back to school to finish up their four year degree, or venture into the big world with big jobs. I find my self going inward. Going into the depths of my dreams and seeing them unraveled. I was worried about this season and whether i should go to my home land to be in this quiet season. Literally moving back in with my parents and taking time to just be. But a door has opened up that i can only assume it is an answer to my confusion. An opportunity to be an intern for an event planner for a large company in Seattle. I'm so excited for this 3 month challenge and hope to learn everything that's going to eventually lead to my big dream.

Beauty will save the world - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Wednesday, December 17

Whatever You're doing inside of feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

So u was talking to one of my good friends Michelle who was on my DTS in YWAM and shes told me to look this song up...we both cried =] God usually speaks a lot of the same things to us at the same maybe you'll enjoy it as well.

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...

Find More lyrics at

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to fix up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

Wednesday, November 19

To Fly

I cant even explain what its like to meet people and not only get to know their likes and dislikes but to know every horrible thing that they have ever gone through and horrible thing they have done to others. Sharing almost every life changing moment with these people! Gettin so close that they honestly know you better than you know your self.

They sit up late with you in the kitchen praying until you hear Gods voice

They come into your bed and snuggle with you just cause they know without you saying anything that your lonely and need a good hug.

They hit you in the face when your alarm goes off because your pratically a married couple that.fights and still love eachother just the same =]

They sit up late bashing your ex's and being giddy about an amazing man of God thats some day going to sweep you off your feet. (yes fairy tails do come true)

They find you outside by your self skipping dinner dishes and let you cry and tell you taht its okay to feel the way you do.

They make you coffee in the morning because they love you no hidden agenda.

I've never experienced something this incredible and its soo hard to leave it all behind. We all showed up the first day with broken hearts and crushed dreams and resentment towards God. Where we quickly were broken of these lies and we together all fell madly in love with God. Besides God these girls are the only ones that know what was going on in this crazy 6 months of seperation. Its still hard to wrap my brain around them not physically in my life anymore.

Its hard. Being here. the tricities...I know God sent me here for a reason to deal with things i ran away from. But man...As much as i hate it here its soooooo much easier than before i left for australia. That was honestly the worst time in my life. When you loose someone that you were sooo dependent on. Then realizing you have nothing, not even God cause you peaced out on him for this dude. Ohh to be a 18 year old. =/ hah But God has taught me sooo much through it all. God has used this in the most incredible way and taught me the most valuable thing in my FULLY surrender!! I've also learned what its like to be apart from him and to feel the GRACE that he died for. Ahh i could talk forever...=]
Anyways when i was Indonesia God told me to go home and deal with relationships and feelings that i ran away from. So i've been here..i've tried to mend things (but you can only do so much form one end)..i've delt with sooo many FLOODING feelings. The first month i really cant explain all the crap that went on. Everywhere i went or every store or place i went to i would have these massive explosion of memories that i DIDNT want to deal with...its amazing the growth thats taken place in the short time i've been home.
Something my mom always says is "the greates miracle God does is healing a truly broken heart" And its soo true. i love this and it makes me want to cry everytime i hear it..i'm a walking miracle...

Another thing He told me is that he would reveal to me my destiny. WHOA right! Something i've prayed for probably since i was 13! God reveal to me my destiny etc...etc. :)
Sooo i'm like OKAY God...what do i do...What have you called me to art teacher, a stay at home mom, a artist, a photographer, travel the world, a graphic designer, a ywamer...blah blah..

i know what i've been called to. God FINALLY revealed this to me and i want nothing more than to begin to step out in that! I knew that this time here in the tricities would be i've been prayin lots about what i should do next and when. Something has come up that i think is God. But i'm still convincing the parents and making sure its God. =] so please pray for God to speak clearly to both my parents and i. I dont want to go against them..but i need to do what God wants me to.

God created me to fly..thats my calling. You probably dont understand this and thats okay. I'm okay with people not understanding me and thinking my dreams are silly! All i know is i want to see it all through his eyes. And all of these random little passions i have (seriously like over 20 different things) are put in me for a reason. And that someday eachone of these things will be fufilled.
Oh man i love Jesus! Hes amazing!!

Wednesday, November 5

Call & Response

What a week. I've been pondering my life more and more. And I find is soo frustrating! The parents obviously want me to stay home get my AA and then do whatever it is I want. I find it so hard to stay in this town with the few friends that I have and little or no vision or anything fulfilling to keep me going. I’m trying to enjoy where God has me right now, but it’s not fun and I have NOOO idea what is next!
So what moves me? SO MANY THINGS that’s the problem mom and dad I can’t just pick one!!!

Besides all that stress of what to do next I've been reading this book "The Rape of Nanking" for my S.E. Asian History class. Not gonna lie this is the MOST intense book I've ever read. It’s opened my eyes to things I had no idea that went on!
This book is all about the Japanese going into Nanking and not only killing everyone but raping women in the streets, in their homes in front of their children. But don’t worry they are sure there are no witnesses so they would kill the women and whoever else was around. So kinda depressing right?! Oh MY GOSH this book is horrible it goes into GREAT detail of what exactly they would do to the women and exactly how they would kill the men and behead them! I’ve been reading this with tears in my eyes and my jaw completely to the ground!
The whole time I was reading this all I can think of is Human Traffiking. Something I knew nothing about until I went to Australia, from this guy Andrew. He started this ministry out of YWAM, this video shares a lot more about it.

I mean I can read this history book and think wow what tragic times! How could anyone ever be so cruel! Here’s the thing ITS GOING ON NOW! Slave traders raised 32 billion dollars alone last year. There are 27 million slaves today, 17,000 being trafficked into America!!

Call and Response is bringing awareness to this horrifying thing that’s going on in our world today!

There are more slaves in today than their have ever been in any time in History! Can you even wrap your mind around that! We need to be a voice for the you go about doing that I’m not quite sure…Heres something even more interesting..

The history of music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How the voice began!!

The drum was the call…what was the response…What is Our Call today? My personal call? Christians call? What is our response? When do we hear the drums and respond?

My mind is everywhere right now..enjoy the videos..they may change your thinking forever!

Thursday, October 2

Home Sweet Home

Jenna Dear is back in America!

After long long flights and exhausting 33 hours of flying i landed in Pasco, Washington to this =]
I love my friends! I got the chance to go to Portland to see Amanda and Natalie (from dts). Amanda put on an art show for a trip shes planning back to Indonesia! Seriously 3 hour drive and time to think was definantly what i needed! I dont think i've ever spent so much time alone and home! Can you blame me?? I've gone 6 months with NOOO alone time! Ha Well its good i'm gettin use to just studying or spending time with Jesus! Hes been showing me lots and helping me adjust to this awkward-ness! The awkwarness of large groups, old friends, and random "americans". I think that has been some of the biggest shocks for me. I knew americans western countries were selfish, but OH my Gosh!! Not everyone obviously but a majority..its incredible i've been shocked many times by reactions of people or the way people are soo involved in there own lifes and wont even look at you and smile. I was so excited when i was waiting in line for coffee and someone else smiled at me and made a random comment..for once it wasnt me! =] Made my day!!

So i've been home 3 weeks now. Ive had sooo much alone time its ridiculous..i think my parents thought i was locking myself in my room hah! Just spending time with God! But i'm pretty sure its time i step out now. I'm hoping to get more involved in youth group and hopefully get to pour out my heart to young women. And Evangelize. Going from evangelizing 24/7 to being alone in your room...very different!! So ya Gods teaching me to love this city and have a heart for the people here! This next season looks like its gonna be a ride =]

Oh and i'd like to have a night with photos from my trip and possibly indonesian food and well just a hang out...if your interested let me know your more than welcome to come!!

Sunday, September 7

Ohh What a bitter sweet week this will be.....

Saying goodbye to my home...and these beautiful people i've become soo in love with!! And my team(my second family)..well i still have a week in perth with them...but ahh!

Part of me is soo excited to go home..and the other half is so incredibly sad to leave this season of my life behind.

Its something that has shaped and reformed me into who i was created to be...I'm so in love with God and honestly NOTHING can change that..i've gone to far..i know too much truth! Its not this "because i grew up with it" anymore..i've experienced it i've seen it...and i've seen incredible things take place in others lifes..healings and much much more!

But i'll be home soon...and i cant wait to see my Family!!!!!! I miss them more than i ever thought was possible!! And i especially miss Emily, Julie, Israel, Dayton and a few others!!!! And so many opportunities are opening up..job wise and wow i'm soo excited to step into a old familiar place with a whole new perspective!! Maybe just maybe i can have a love for the tricities again..I know nothing has changed..still heaps of drama and old friends will be there that i dont quite want to see...But Its different..because going back..its not about me! Its that simple...its not about me anymore! At all!!

Ya some of you were afraid i would change on this trip...and i have! Thank God i have! I just wish you could have changed with me. But I'm so ready...

So ready for this week
So ready for Perth (report back/party party party week)
So ready for Home
So so so so ready to be myself at home!

I'm holding nothing back anymore...
this is open book...a fire ball for Jesus...and learning more and more each day that my life is no longer mine! My life is becoming less and less of me!

So i go bring this love and passion i have show you i've changed, to show you His love. And to SEEK. after Him with everything thats in see where i'm to go Next! Do i i go...i honestly I will do anything for him....whatever he says...i'll go...

As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know this man
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child

What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I

As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God

And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I

What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I

Sunday, August 31

its pouring rain..right now

yes this is me..almost crying after walking out of Step Up 2 Movie..for a second i thought i was back home..until i walked out of the theater..then i fell to the ground..laughing/crying. Hilarious moment...that just happened to be captured!

David Graf Left friday..
we've had two team-mates join us during our 3 months here..akrum and ari (both only staying no more than 3 weeks) But David has been with us the whole time..from perth till now. He had to go to university. We got to encourage him and pray for him before he left. Everyone cried including the boys! We honestly were loosing a team member and we will probably never see David again..Hes from Switzerland and has this hilarious monatone swiss-german accent taht we all a loving way! Not to mention him singing "fix you" with Ben....i will never forget that. David and I also have left a legend we always sing "appoligize" together at the top of our lungs =]

So david leaving hit all of us girls like a ton of bricks..that we only have 3 weeks left together..and then we may never see eachother again...
Photobucket Clearly this is us after we cried (horrid picture haha..but priceless)

I'm going to miss these girls especially Tiffany and Sarah..they are seriously my best friends! We talk about EVERYTHING! We have soo many jokes and wow i cant believe i may never see them again! But i'm ready to come home...

So for girls night (cell group) we talked about Humility..My lovely madagascar lover (tiffany) lead most of it. Anyways our talks with them was really really good! And then we washed their feet and gave them pedicures!

Amazing week...missing home..dont want to leave..BAHHHH

heres random photos you'll like!
At steak 21..we love this place and the people are AMAZING! =]
Me and my big butt calling for a taxi..hah
Yes there it is..the pigs head..and dog!!! =]
wow right! (oddly...i'm getting use to this..crazy hey?)
(the call)

ENJOY..more to come soon..Possibly in person..with me next to you??!?!? crazy huh!!

Monday, August 18

these days changed my life..

The past week has literally been the slowest and quickest week in my entire life!!! I was really really sick thursday and running for the toilet sick..not so fun. I must have ate something bad..i dont know. Still kinda dealing with it here and there all day?! ahha it sucks. But whatever right!! (new saying..whatever) hah Its my way of saying "NOTHIN IS WHAT YOU jcity!!!!" or "THIS is me adjusting and learning not to care...remeber we laid down our EVERYTHING?" haha

One of the biggest things i've learned is to have a good attitude even in the most fustrating situations...such as..everything taking sooo long!! But if you keep silent or posative..things always end up amazing and God does some incredible things!!

A few days that have once again..touched my heart through and through!!

Lets start with Wednesday...
It was one of those days where everthing takes soo dang long!! No indonesian can be ontime i swear!! haha Anyways we were taking out this youth group to my favorite slum. As soon as we get there they lead us to this ladies house.

This lady has always had heart problems and has a beautiful baby boy! Soo precious. Anyways i guess last time they went to her house as well and prayed for her. So we asked if we could pray for her again and if there was anything specific. She asked us if we could pray for her and her husbands relationship then began to tear up. She explained that since shes gotten sicker her husband has been more distant, but she cant say anything because he hasnt done anything specific just by his actions she doesnt feel that theres a whole lot of love there. So we all pray for her. But a few of us...(including myself) that cried while she was crying all while praying for her. It was incredible..i felt like i truly felt her pain! I mean i could relate a little with past relationships but nothing compared to what she was feeling. we ended up gettin to share that God is perfect love and that we are created to be fufilled by that perfect love and no one on this earth can possibly fufill that hole. Even with the most amazing husband. She really recieved it..i cant wait to talk with her next week.

ohhh sunday was a day i know i will never forget for the rest of my life!! So Sunday was Independence Day!! We were invited to a community to celibrate..they asked us if 5 could dress up in traditional wear. I was still feeling sick so i got out of it. So we met at this community at 8am...waited for the 5 to get ready and Ohh suprise...we are in a PARADE!! haha Yes a 2 hour walk in the blazing sun!! here let me just show you pictures =] haha
yep we were in a parade..i wasnt feeling good so i luckily didnt have to dress up!! hahahah but i walked with little girls that were dressed up.
Shaun, Tiffany, Autumn, some lady, Sarah, David!
I'm so proud of was soo hott!! And we all laughed soo hard at them!!!
Akrum (he was with us for only a month..amazing guy from egypt), David, Ben

So mondays are usually our days off, but this monday was The Call! It started at 9am and was to go to 9pm! Little did we wasnt translated..ha So the day was quite boring we got to leave for a long lunch break and dinner break..but at the end around 9ish. they finally started to play English worship i convinced my friend becca to go down and dance/worship. It ended up only being four of us that went down there...soo much fun. We met some really amazing indonesians that taught us traditional dances all while worshiping God is was SOO Much fun!!!!

This one is short but i like this today =] I got this word for a guy who was sorting out this pile of black stuff trying to find metal to recycle for money. (its his go through garbage and make money off recyling) crazy hey! Anyways he was probably 19 years old. And i knew that God wanted to remind him to hold on to his dreams. And to remember that what he dreamt of as a little boy can come true and to not loose hope. Soo im like easy enough..get a translator go talk to him. I grabbed one of the girls that was with me..she went down to the water where he was with me and as soon as she said hello he turned and walked away. Ignoring us. soo We tried to approach him again he walked away. And i knew i HAD to give him this word. So i ask the youth group leader who did a dts at perth to help me out. So he tries the guy kinda ignores him. Anyways the youth group leader ends up grabbin him later and talks to him for atleast 15 min then motions me over. I walk over the guy is crying and Tommy (youth group leader) is like i told him what God told you and is there anything else you want to say? I was like WHOA?!? haha so we chated for alittle while i guess this Guy hated that he still lived in this recycling dump and he wants a good job and has big dreams and i ended the conversation with God sent us today to tell him to not loose hope and tears again...precious guy! Heri was his can pray for him! I'm sure i'll see him next week though.

what a week. So this blog took me like three days to write hhaha many things have already changed. I'm soo excited about the seeds God is allowing us to plant (thanks lynn) Seriously we may not be reaping..but i KNOW peoples hearts are getting touched..including mine! I love these people...but four weeks...I'm SO excited to go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHH!! haha

I mean i love it here but i know that this is only a season and this lifestyle is not reality. I'm excited to make this evangelism thing (that i now understand) a lifestyle..No worries no bible beating..i still hate that!! haha But i actually have a heart for people who dont know God now! I understand his love, him dying for us.....I get the great commission! I get it...

So watch out tricities...I've learned its not about me and i'm done holding back =]

Thursday, August 7

what touches my heart...

i fell in love with this one!
I seriously fell in love with this little boy!! What a crazy couple of days it has been.

Tuesday was PWT(passionworldtour). Headed up with Chris Tomlin. Soo amazing over 7000 youth of indonsia worshiping God like crazy! It reminded me of home a lot (huge confrences like the gathering, but much larger and more passionate). I seriously cried a couple times. Seeing 7000 kids worshiping and realized for the past 3 months you have been crying out for this, then its right in front of you...crazy!!
The city at its best.
PWT(passion world tour)
Wheres Jenna? see if you can find me. =]
i'm actually in this one..wearing a black vest..middle right edge..can you see me? haha
for greater things have yet to come..
for greater things still to be done in this city!

You’re the God of this city, You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation, You are
You’re the Light in this darkness, You’re the Hope to the hopeless
You’re the Peace to the restless, You areThere is no one like our God, there is no one like our GodFor greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city

Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done here
(amazing song we sang on tuesday night as a city and nation)

The recycle slum..aka garbage dump.

yet look at these smiling faces!LOOK at these happy faces!!!
there homesand these are there homes!
the boys sayin goodbye to us girls Saying goodbye to us girls =]
listenin to miss jenna.listening to miss Jenna

And finally a mural that took too many days and that silly horse that i spent almost 2 hours on. It was good though i got to lead for the whole "paiting" Basically i went around and tried to show everyone how to blend and tell them what color where. =] Lots of fun though!!
a mural we did..oh that silly horse took way too long!

Wednesday, July 23

Sharing the love...

Okay so the past couple of weeks have been quite dry. Worship and intercession have been amazing, but we haven't been seeing a whole lot of things happen. Whether it be plans changing or translators not showing up...either way things have been slow. So we fasted on Tuesday and really sought after what God was saying. I mean we very well could be "planters" and we all understand that, but we had specifically gotten words from God before we left that we were to see fruits. So we spent a lot of our day praying, worshiping, and waiting on God. In the afternoon like every tuesday and thursday we take out youth to slums with us. Well after all our time of seeking God i feel like tuesday was a major breakthrough. The girls in my group were actually understanding that i wasn't going to do everything that it was about God using them as well. We ended up praying for a boy with hearing problems and met his mom and talked with her for a couple of hours. Nothing major happened but the atmosphere was just different.
But right before we took the youth out we also bought our food for the day and handed it out to people we felt led to give it to. My group ended up meeting this man that speaks Arabic and English. We had our new guy with us Akrum who's from egypt (hes only with us for a little while). We met him right out side of a mosk. He didn't really need the food but it defiantly blessed him. Akrum shared with him in Arabic to ask God to reveal himself to him in ways he never thought possible, the guy was taking it all in. (I had no idea what they were talking about, since it was in another language) I ended up asking him if i could pray for him. It was a blessing to see him receive it all so much. We exchanged numbers and hope to meet up and talk more with him.
Anyways good encounters. Wednesday (today) we started painting a mural. (defiantly making it up as we go along!! haha. But it was fun everyone kinda got to see me in a whole new way. after the base colors were on i went back after people and threw random colors on there for highlights and shadow...lets say i had to assign someone to open paint cans and close them, paint was flying it was fun/stress full/stretching. Teaching people how to paint for the first time..and i hardly knew what i was doing.
Okay last STORY! Tonight we had team time..Both teams that live together we had a dessert off! we were split in groups to prepare dessert for everyone to see what was the best. here's the results...
Presentation: Thai rice thing (MY GROUP..sticky rice cooked with coconut milk, strawberry or mango on top and a sugar glace over it. served on banana leafs)
Texture: Truffle (it was like layered pudding goodness with chocolate strawberries and cake)
Wow Factor: Chocolate Shots (Chocolate crumbs, fudge, more chocolate, chocolate whip cream)
Creativity: Fried bananas (with ice cream and strawberries)
Flavor: Truffle

It was a fun and we all ate wayyy to much =]

here's two photos from My day off in Mannga Dua (means two mango's)
Did i mention i learned to bargain like crazy advice for bargaining!!!
1. Start with half of what they offer.
2. Slowly work your way up to what you want to pay.
3. Once you reach that they usually will say noooo this is my final offer.
4. You say...ohh Wellll maybe i'll come back..start to turn around (slowly) and take a few steps..(sometimes you don't even have to start walking) They will GIVE IN!

Works every time!! =]

here's a picture of Amanda and I in the taxi!